We were supposed to spend three nights camping over Memorial Day Weekend, but ended up only spending one night in the woods. Having hauled the whole family several hours from home and gone through the work of setting up camp, the decision to leave early was somewhat wrenching. But I can’t say that I deeply regret it. I still wish we’d been able to follow the original plan, but I know it was the right decision.

That said, I’m not a big believer in quitting, so the idea of abandoning an anticipated plan is somewhat of an anathema to me. Frankly, we probably have a tendency to push things too far – testing a little one’s endurance or just the boundaries of good sense. So I got to thinking: If it takes a lot to make me throw in the towel, what exactly puts a decision into that category?

When Safety Is Compromised

This is what happened on that recent camping trip. With a tropical system threatening, the weather forecast kept deteriorating and the area was under a flash flood warning. Things didn’t end up getting that bad; in retrospect, we might have even been able to tough it out.

But I asked myself, was it worth risking our safety? And the answer, of course, was no. Putting myself in any danger is one thing. But my kids? Certainly not for the sake of being stubborn! I’ll sacrifice a bit of physical comfort if it’s colder than ideal or there may be a bit of rain. But major thunderstorms or flooding potential, a heat index in the danger zone or other things along those lines are a different story.

Of course, it isn’t only things related to the weather in this category.  Everyone has his own threshold for safety or appetite for risk, but when the kids are concerned, I think we all have a tendency to be more conservative than if it were just adults. And, I think that it’s important to respect whoever has the lower tolerance.

When It's Stopped Being Fun

Here, I’m not talking about the delayed gratification of a long drive or some unmet expectation of sheer bliss. But the whole reason we go on adventures together is to enjoy them, to make memories. And if someone is truly miserable — not neutral on the experience, not mildly whiney — especially the kids, then the purpose is being defeated.

Not only that, but an unhappy kid’s behavior can easily take a nosedive. So your unhappy camper stands a very real chance of dragging down those around you too. In this case, bailing on an event or outing has an element of the public good to it. Eating the cost of tickets or something like that can be hard to swallow. Turning it into a teachable moment can temper the frustration somewhat, although probably not fully. But that's parenting for you.

When an Opportunity Arises

I’m not suggesting that we all start bailing on plans when a better invitation turns up, but we do need to keep our eyes open for unanticipated adventures. It’s less about retreating: more about redeploying. While this category definitely stands on its own, we have definitely turned instances of Scenario One into this situation.

Here’s a real life example that lead to one of the most memorable and magical weekends I can recall. Last fall, we were all set to go to the Maryland Renaissance Fair. We drove the hour out into rural Anne Arundel County and even made it to the parking lot and out of the car, then we just looked at each other and knew that forcing the issue and going with that original plan was not going to work.

It had been raining on and off all week, and the weather was unseasonably not and humid for October. The baby had somehow resisted the car nap that would have put him in a better mood and was growing fussier by the minute.

But what else to do? Thank heaven for the smartphone! We found a pumpkin patch on the other side of the Bay Bridge with stellar reviews and redeployed in its direction. Little guy got his nap and we had the most harvest-y fun you can possibly imagine. So much so that when an accident near the Bay Bridge caused so much traffic that our projected drive-time home nearly quadrupled, we went back to the smartphone, found an available hotel room, stopped at Walmart for PJs and toothpaste and had ourselves another whole day of adventure.

The serendipity and spontaneity made a huge impression on Big Brother — he still talks about it as “the great big adventure in Maryland” regularly and asks to go back.

So what did we end up doing after abandoning our Big Meadows campsite at  Shenandoah National Park? Well, that adventure is a subject for another time.